Miedooo , miedo de besarte.. cuando estoy contigo


mándalo por "meil"



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Estoy a punto de dar el botonazo, y eso que comí sushi, asi que si mis ideas son ofuscadas por el letargo postpandrial no se quejen.

Ayer tuve un sueño muy extraño, pero como luego le siguió un sueño húmedo ya no me acuerdo del otro y les voy a postear el wet dream. jaaaaa you are not that lucky. Pinche sueño bizarro hizo que al despertarme tuviera que fumarme un cigarro del susto. ya no vuelvo a cenar famous-western-star-with-bacon-six-dollar-burguer con papas crisscut y refresco mediano del Calr's Jr.
Al despertar en medio de la noche me dio miedo que Mr. Frekkles anduviera merodeando por ahi, asi como asustaba a Jerry Seinfeld cuando le cambió el depa a Kramer. waaaa. terror total.

Ayer hablaba con jebus sobre estas y otras historias de miedo, sobre el dormir en casas ajenas. Que feo es pasarte la noche en vela cuando no reconoces los ruidos. waaa terror

Recomendación: si vas a dormir en casa ajena hazlo únicamente estando totalmente alcoholizado, asi te desmayarás y no sentirás nada. Aunque lo malo es que tu aspecto matutino deje mucho que desear, como cuando me tocó despertar a cierto amigo ( ke omitimos nombres para proteger intimidades) ya entradas las horas de la tarde, solo se produjeron unos ruidos extraños y movimientos de manos sin coordinación,y en lugar de ojos había ojeras. wwaahh daa bahhh, a donde se fueron todosssss??, porke estoy en la cama?? fueron sus palabras, jaja se quedó completando la última frase que no terminó en la peda de la noche anterior.

Les cuento mis miedos irracionales?? En las noches tengo miedo que las botellas de agua que dejo al lado de mi cama antes de dormir ( porke trago agua como radiador viejo en las noches) se caigan y se les salga toda el agua y al despertarme en la noche y querer ir al baño me resbale con el agua, de tres pasos en falso, me tropiece con la ropa que dejé tirada antes de desmayarme en la noche y caiga de espaldas y mi nuca se estrelle contra la pantalla de televisión y muera electrocutado y peor aún, ke entren los paramédicos y me encuentren en fachas y nunca hice testamento y los policías que van a dar fe del incidente para asegurar que no fue ningún intento de asesinato se jueguen mis prendas en algún juego de azar y algún naco sin estilo termine usando mis abrigos prada para ir a una posada en la Fe Music Hall. Eso si no lo puedo permitir, asi que por eso siempre cierro bien las botellas de agua antes de irme a dormir.

Otro miedo que me invade es que cuando estas en medio de la higiene personal y te introduces q-tips para limpiarte las orejas entre alguien desesperadamente al baño y la puerte golpee con mi codo haciendo que el cotonete se inserte en mi cerebro quedando parapléjico y alguien termine dándome gelatina de marca "pronto" en algún hospital de sudamérica donde atienden a los enfermos discapacitados por accidentes cotono-cerebrales y termine usando una bata de color indefinido con pantuflas que no combinen en lo absoluto. waaaaaaaaaaaa pánico infinito, por eso siempre cierro la puerta con seguro.


Nunca abro botellas de cerveza si no tengo un abridor a la mano, porque estoy seguro que alguna de ellas puede resbalar de mis manos por el agua ke le queda de los hielos y al estrellarse contra el piso , de la impresión suelte mi cigarro y yo mismo me prenda en llamas. oooohhh the humanityyy

Siempre me aseguro dos o tres veces ke la alarma del carro haya sido accionada porque tengo miedo de que al regresar ya me esté esperando un tratante de blancos adentro en el asiento trasero y al subirme me secuestre y me lleve a un pais oriental y sea vendido como esclavo sexual y termine besando a un viejito con dientes de oro que se atreva a combinar el color verde pistache con color lavanda en una proporción de más del 33% de lavanda por cada 20 % de verde pistache. Eso sería inadmisible.



Ya me dio miedo seguir diciendo estas cosas, que aunque ustedes crean que exagero, son mis miedos reales, y eso que les conté los menos freaks, mejor ya no les digo del miedo que ke le tengo a los abrelatas y las cintas de zapatos desabrochadas ( o des-anudadas) no se burlen de mi, tengo problemas mentales. yo no escogí tener OCD.


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